Its been just 2 days since certain states decided to ban Maggi for a 15-30day period, Think of it! Sonam Kapoor managed to make the whole of India hate Maggi noodles within hours. She has the potential to end terrorism if only she endorsed it. (Those who didnt get it...redirect to Day 1. Those who got it...get moving)
Just 2 days in, the people most affected by the ban include Madhuri Dixit, Amitabh Bachchan, Preity Zinta, the Indian Army, Nestle India and.... Me. Why you ask? Let me tell you...
A Bihar court (yes obviously Bihar) ordered registration of an FIR against the Bollywood stars, who have featured in the Maggi advertisements, and said they could be arrested, if required. Also the lawyer who filed the FIR said he was "taken ill" due to the consumption of Maggi and found the celebrities to be responsible somehow. I don't know how these morons are able to get a law degree. Was he expecting these celebs to stand at each factory and individually taste each packet? (That would be amazing though. "This pack is Preity good!")
The actors would be liable to action if the advertisements are found to be misleading. Amitabh Bachchan, using his mojo, swayed out of the line of fire saying that he no more endorses the company. Madhuri Dixit is pretty much screwed. Preity Zinta wont appear till next IPL, so I guess shes safe till then. And if the actors are liable then I guess everybody can sue BigB for lying about the "2-minute" thing. (I'd sue him for having Abhishek Bachchan for a son first). But it wont matter. Driving over people is not a concern for Bollywood, let alone some diarrhea.
The Indian Army deployed at J&K are really screwed. I've heard that they live somewhat like how my batch-mates lived in boys hostel whenever it was mess-fee payment-time (Maggi+Bread+Egg). Now I cant help but think that the ban might be some twisted strategy of our Neighbours in the NorthWest. (But as long as their women wear jeans, we are all good)
Nestle India plunged 9% on the Bombay Stock Exchange, its biggest drop in a day in nine years. They are en route to lose crores if the ban prolongs and more states get involved. In fact other Nestle products are also being taken off shelves now. I guess its time to say bye to normal life.
The person most affected by all this is yours truly. Since I've been on the move between houses, all I get at my dads place (where I am mostly) is Maggi. The day the news hit the media, all the packets disappeared off the shelves in Kerala after the state-owned Kerala State Civil Supplies Corp (Supplyco) stopped selling Maggi in its stores. All I was left with was some cheap local knock off of Maggi that my dad didn't even bother reading the name (neither did I. But I atleast noted the colour of the packet. It was Red... I think). And the end result? Diarrhea. All I need to do now is find out which local celeb I should sue.
Maggi or no maggi, life will still go on in India with newer things being banned every day. For those who didnt hear the news, Egg is banned in Madhya Pradesh. So I guess Chickens can go gay now.
The day some cattle gets gay-raped by a guy who has consumed Egg flavoured Maggi noodles, I hope they might consider banning rape too. If not, we will ask our WMD laden sisters to implode on the streets.
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PS; Goa...land of alcohol and Maggi...Impending Mallu Influx...
Owww true that >_<
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